The Life After

For two consecutive days, I've dreamt of my brother. The first one was
nothing extraordinary. Just me, Jermaine and him in our old van.
Jermaine was driving and Jayson was in the passenger seat as usual and
me at the back. I can't remember where we went but it looked something
like a school. While waiting for something, I asked him if he could
teach me how to drive since Jermaine already knew how. I was putting my
arms around him like a clingy girlfriend and he was reciprocating the
deed. I really miss him and the utter loneliness I'm going through
right now probably summoned him to my dreams.

For
the second time, I dreamt of him as I took a nap this noon before going
to work. Never had I a dream that was so clear and vivid… We were
outside my front door, squatting as I tried to figure out what to say.
He's got black-eye in both eyes but otherwise, his face looked ok.
No shadow was casted over his face and so I could see every feature of
him as if he were alive. I even joked about his black-eye and he
laughed. I reached out my hand and tried to touch his arm. It was
amazingly scary when I felt the stickiness of his skin from sweat. I
wouldn't be surprised if I would be able to smell him from my dreams.

I
asked him how he was and said he was ok. We stood up simultaneously and
I asked, "Can you take me with you?" He gently pushed me away but I was
already clinging on to him. The next thing I knew was, we were in a
park that seemed familiar but not exactly, walking side by side. I
could no longer see things as clearly as few moments ago but the
conversation went on. I said, "Have you seen Jesus, God and Mama Mary?"
I got no reply. "Or is it just like on earth where in we believe in
them although we can't really see them?" Still no reply. That's the
last thing I could remember.

I never had such a dream where I
could not see the other person's lips moving, but I could definitely
hear the voices. Where is he really right now? Could he still be
wandering about? He's with me.  I miss him and I feel so alone. I
lost two people in a span of 3 months. At least my brother is still
here trying to take care of me… And I'm just grateful. I wish I could
be with him soon…