Well… Hello!

Does everyone have this certain turning point once in his life? I've always wished for things to go well with me, but apparently, it didn't turned out the way I expected it to be. Well, nothing is to be expected, anyway, no matter how carefully you planned.

I can't say that I was ever happy. And I must admit that I was never content with my life. I was always looking for this something that I can hardly specify what it is.

Ironically, I have to lose some things in order to find what is missing. I lost money. I lost a family heirloom. I lost a brother and a boyfriend whom I thought WAS the one. I lost things that seemed so important to me, but I found myself. I found myself longing to be loved.

Now that I found me, I would need to find that one true love. That thing where I can say, "I am best here." I have never been proud of myself because there was nothing to be proud of. I felt like I was mediocre at everything, school, writing, visual arts, music…  And I've never really stuck with something for long. It seemed like I know what everyone around me would never get tired of doing. My late brother liked fixing stuff like my dad who loves fixing cars. Jermaine is totally hooked in shooting baskets and he is considered an asset in his school for that. My sister's too young to have something and my mother, well, she loves money (Haha!). And I know Paul has always loved his guitar and creating songs (we're no longer together and I haven't talked to him for almost 2 months now. Please don't ask me what happened, you may ask him.) But I couldn't say what I love most. Yes, I may love art, but when was the last time I held a pencil to draw? I love writing, but I can't remember the last good literary piece I have written.

So now that I'm single, I'll be out dating. Finding that something for me. So far, I'm trying to run and I'm totally enjoying it. You already know about my first 10k run and there will be another this Sunday. I'll start my salsa lesson this Saturday and will go on for the whole month of August. I'm gonna learn to swim and if I would have enough money before the year ends, I'll take scuba diving lessons. Then of course, I need more money to pursue my photography dream… There's a lot more stuff that I want to try and I will do them all! Afterall, these are the golden years of our youth!